


Num...?

by Fides



Category: Doctor Who, The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Scene, Angst, Gen, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, mmom, mmom 2008, mmom 2008: day 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-05
Updated: 2008-05-05
Packaged: 2017-10-03 01:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fides/pseuds/Fides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor asks a question to which he knows the answer. Alternate scene for Time Out in Washington.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Num...?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Time Out in Washington](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6786) by [Fides](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fides/pseuds/Fides). 



> This is an alternative POV version to a scene from Time Out in Washington (Spyverse). Contains spoilers for that story.

"You sure you don't want to come with us?" The Doctor asked. "You could, you know. Time travel and all."

Some people might say that asking a question to which you knew the answer was pointless. But some people were stupid. Oh, as a species they had their moments of genius, and given their limited understanding of the universe you had to make allowances... but they could still be stupid.

And this was why: with the entire universe to choose from, Alex had chosen to rescue the girl. Did he even know why he was doing it? The Doctor doubted it, although he was sure that Alex had excuses and justifications, reasons that he could have rolled out, if anyone asked him why. And, some of them, Alex probably even believed, but then the human ability to fool itself had always fascinated the Doctor.

Alex thought the Doctor wanted a soldier because that was the only way Alex could see himself, a figure of blood and darkness. Why he would want a soldier the Doctor didn't know? Soldier's fought, it was part of what they were. The Doctor wanted companions. Companions had adventures, had fun, learnt, grew...

The Doctor could ask him to leave his gun behind, and Alex would because they both knew it was just a piece of metal. Alex didn't need it, yet, although it comforted him. He was too wary to rely on any one thing if he could avoid it. But the symbolic gesture didn't matter because it wasn't the gun in his hand he needed to put away, it was the one in his head and that was so much harder to do. Many species talked of how some people moved as if the weapon they held was part of them. The Doctor knew a secret - it was. It was one of the reasons he didn't like them. They got under your skin and into your brain and muddled the thinking.

Ace had Nitro-9 in her blood, Captain Jack has Time in his. Both were deadly. Alex had gunpowder... maybe that wasn't fair - guns were simple; pull the trigger and kill someone. Alex wasn't simple, although that was the attraction for him, the thing he thought he wanted but couldn't have - simplicity and distance. Alex wasn't a bullet, he was a blade. They were a lot harder to deal with because they were so useful.

The Doctor knew he could show him how to sheath that knife inside him without dulling its edge. How to turn that sharpness to something worthwhile; a surgeon's scalpel rather than an assassin's stiletto. But Alex wouldn't let him because Alex thought he had to keep the Doctor clean. The Doctor had sent companions to die or given the orders that he knew would mean their deaths. Sometimes he had been lucky and certain death wasn't quite so certain. He'd brought down civilisations, sacrificed thousands of lives, he was called "Bringer of Darkness", "Destroyer of Worlds" and the "The Oncoming Storm" by those who hated and feared him. He was over twelve hundred years old and Alex thought he needed to stand between the Doctor and the real world. With Ace it had been cute, with Alex it was misguided and downright dangerous. Although obviously flattering in its hubristic little way.

Alex shifted his weight slightly, from the ball of one foot to the other. Fight or flight. Humans really were so primitive. As he looked back at the other companions, at the girl he rescued, the Doctor could see the indecision in Alex's eyes. Alex felt responsible for them, even more so than for the Doctor. Because they were younger. Because Alex confused them with his own redemption. And confused redemption with masochism. The Doctor didn't want a guard and didn't want a scapegoat, he wanted Alex. The question was whether Alex could accept.

Sometimes, knowing the answer was not enough, sometimes people had to discover it for themselves.

"You know why I have to say no, don't you?" Alex asked, his eyes pleading.

He thought he was letting the Doctor down. The Doctor couldn't have been prouder of him. He nodded, letting Alex know he understood.

Asking a question to which you know the answer - it might be mental masturbation, but there were times when it gave everyone the release they needed.


End file.
